Helpless.
That's how it feels.
But it's one thing to know, and another thing to feel. And right now, it feels like I am so helpless, sitting so close to so many who have experienced destruction and pain. On one hand, life is normal--I'm here on my computer, in my apartment with the light on. We had a school meeting and class today, and we're still without water but hey--the watering hole is fun to use, right? So I use a bucket to flush my toilet...that doesn't begin to compare with the other "abnormalities" around me that so many others are experiencing. A huge part of me wants to go, to do, to somehow help...
On the other hand, my daily life is just plain strange. Our apartment still shakes, and we have spent time looking up the use of iodine to treat radiation, and homes around us have damage. And my student tonight told me that his friend's mother lived in the town that faced the huge wall of water and ended up with so many missing. They still haven't heard from her.
It's all so close and so far and so big and so small.
I'm thankful that faith doesn't have to make sense. I'm thankful that prayer is real communication with the Almighty God. I'm thankful for conversations about real topics and the huge opportunity to bring prayer and God into the picture. And I'm thankful for these words, received from one who feels like a dear friend, though I've only known her electronically:
Christ lives his life in us when we walk by the Spirit. Jesus is not our helper; he is our very life. (Conformed to His Image, pg. 190).
"Our very life"...maybe...this is what it means to minister, to help others, to love with Jesus' love...with His life, we're definitely not helpless.
With that...there are definite, concrete ways to help. I just received some info (thank you! thank you!) regarding donations, etc., from a friend, and I can pass the info on to others who are interested. Feel free to email, or post to facebook, or comment on the blog if you would like the information!
Also, there is still prayer--always. I'm intending to ask each of the students this week for prayer requests and to let them know that many Christians are praying for Japan's healing--physically, spiritually, emotionally, and otherwise. I'll try to keep you guys up-to-date on those as well.
Thanks for letting me process to you all.
Much love,
Haidee
Oh Haidee! Your words have been so good to us "state-siders". I can almost see you moving towards the door to take action and then, sitting back down because there's nothing you can do (physically). That powerless feeling is unpleasant, especially for missionaries like you and Cindy! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I loved your quote, so true! We don't need Christ to strengthen us, He is our very strength! He is our very life. Indeed, you are walking this walk of faith.
And we are too, here far from it all. I can't wait for specific prayer requests from your students. Keep 'em coming, sister!
Love in Him,
Karen
Haidee, every time I read your posts, I am truly moved by your perspective on the current situation and by the depth of your faith. God has put you in Japan for a reason. You are most definitely a strong witness for Him. Prayers continue from here.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to email me info about how those of us in Minnesota can help, I would be happy to share that on my Minnesota Prairie Roots blog.
Audrey
Haidee - Our hearts & prayers continue to go out to you, Cindy & all of the people in Japan. We thank God daily for your strong faith and ask that He will continue to be with you every moment. "God is our refuge & strength - an ever present help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1. By now you have probalby researched info on radiation exposure but accoriding to what I've found on the internet, radiation levels at the boundary of the Fukushima Reactor are only twice the normal exposure we all get from outer space, x-rays, etc. Even at these levels it's hard to prove that much damage can be done to the human body. Just trying to calm some of the fears "Be anxious about nothing but in prayer & Tthanksgiving, make your wishes know to God & he will bring you peace." Phillipians 4:6 Roger Marge & Marilyn W.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great updates, Haidee. Praying lots for you all!!
ReplyDeleteJenn
Hi Haidee!
ReplyDeleteIt has been said that crisis does not make a man. It only shows what man is made of. Your very life shows the depth of your faith and in turn comforts everyone around you more than we could ever do to you. It's a blessing to have encountered your blog at a time like this.
We'll continually pray that your life will shine amid these darkened times.
Blessings!
Kaye
Philippines
http://kayelangit-luistro.blogspot.com/2011/03/ruminations-on-japan-after-tsunamis.html
Haidee,
ReplyDeleteyou and Cindy and so many others have been in my thoughts and prayers over the past days. Helpless is also how those who care about you feel when they hear of the destruction and difficulties and are too far away lend support other than by prayer. But don't forget that it is helplessness that prompts prayer and reminds us of the one who is not helpless. Helplessness is exactly where prayer begins, for us and for you.
Just know that each day you have a small army of prayer warriors standing behind you. God has called you and placed you and will be faithful to use your efforts on his behalf to accomplish his purposes. You live and move within His promises - and His promises stand sure so that you can stand sure. You are, and will continue to be, in the prayers of all who care about you here at Concordia. Peace be with you all.