Culture and kids' books

Even though I teach at a conversationally-focused English school, I'm a firm believer in the use of books for pronunciation practice, natural grammar and sentence flow, new vocabulary, and tidbits of cultural lessons. I use books for all ages and am often surprised by what catches the attention of my adults, who reflect and discuss more than my kids. Here are just a few topics that get comments and responses from students and the books that generated them...

Family Relationships:

I wasn't so stuck on the Berenstain Bears series as a kid, but Cindy's students especially have loved them because of the family relationships and dynamics displayed in the tales. In Japan, most of the moral teaching of a child is done at school, rather than at home. I have heard again and again, "My job as a parent is simply to encourage my child." Encourage...not teach. So the little life-lessons, disciplinary actions of parents, and development of Brother and Sister Bear in these children's books surprise some of our students immensely.

Compare and Contrast:

The most recent book I used that could be classified in this category is I am a Seed, a simple science-reader comparing a marigold and a pumpkin. The students were surprised that the author spent a whole book pointing out the differences between the two plants, rather than the similarities. A collective society versus individualistic society, anyone?

Navigating Society:

Yesterday I read a simple book called Tom and Sam, which told the story of two friends who allowed competition and jealousy to ruin their friendship for a bit. The whole story outlines how each of the two men would do things so that the other townspeople would notice and praise them. My students responded to the book by saying, "Well, the other people around them should not have praised them!" I responded by saying, "Interesting. I always thought that the moral of this story is to not listen to or be controlled by others' praise or admiration." This was met with dumbfounded looks, as my students tried to consider what I meant by not listening to those around them...

I think I've mentioned before that in Japan, it is considered highly inappropriate to praise a family member in the presence of other people, because the praise will make other people around them feel bad. I always find it fascinating that the responsibility of good communication and harmony is placed mostly on the speaker, rather than on the listeners, who (in my opinion, of course) have the freedom to choose how to respond to the speaker. In my opinion, Sam and Tom could have chosen not to listen to the townspeople and focus instead on their friendship. In my students' opinions, the townspeople should simply have kept their admiring mouths shut!

These cultural discussions are always interesting, and they usually generate a lot of laughter in the classroom, where things are intentionally kept fairly light. I confess that I usually do a lot more wrestling with the cultural differences in the safety of our apartment. These discussions always raise a lot of questions for me...especially when I put them in the context of Christian learning and life. For example, I've always thought that parental instruction and raising kids up in the faith is a very Biblical concept...but is that just my culture coming through? How do I respond in a Christian way to the hands-off parenting method?

Or dealing with the topic of receiving other people's praise...it is my belief that my identity as a child of God trumps all other identities people might try to give me. They could call me amazing or call me horrible...but what matters most is God's gift of salvation and the new identity given in Christ. How do I share that message in a culture that seems always first and foremost concerned with what those around them are saying/thinking/feeling?

These are little issues, compared to some others...but always food for thought! And great motivations for prayer.

Stretched

I'm often given the job of asking an "icebreaker question" at the beginning of our weekly Japanese Bible study, and I generally try to ask something that will lead people to share life stories or recent events or thoughts about God's recent acts. Yesterday, however, I fished about mentally for a question that would lead to discussions of the people in our lives we can share the Gospel with.

(Short mental aside: I really have been trained as a DCO, and Phil Johnson's words, "A DCO is an advocate for those not in the church yet" have stuck in my mind. Trying to figure out what such an advocate does as a foreigner in Japan has been the search of four years or more of my life. Sigh. Call me a slow learner. Some days I'm still quite at my wits' end.)

Finally, the question that came out was something like, "Let's share stories of a recent new relationship we've made or discovered, or a connection with another person. It doesn't have to be a deep connection, but just time together with a new person."

As an example, I shared about some recent conversations I've had with a girl about my age who works at a fabric and hobby shop. After I visited the shop several times we began to share stories of sewing projects, and our conversations have been the highlights of my last several weeks.

I ended my story with a chuckle at my memory of the conversations, but the chuckle quickly died as I looked at the faces around me. Maybe...I should have thought twice before asking this question? Sure enough, one by one, around the table, the stories sounded the same: "I don't have any new relationships."

As we stopped chatting and started the Bible reading for the day, my eyes were filled with tears, and I must have looked very focused on trying to read the kanji. Part of my tears, I confess, were tears of pure jealousy. I wanted to say strongly, "Do you know how many new relationships I get each week? You guys can stay with your families...can hang out with friends you know...you don't have the need to find new people, because you're comfortable, but it's my JOB to stay uncomfortable, to reach out, to be constantly thinking of the new people around me. It's my job to evaluate and get to know and care for each new student, each church visitor. In the last week I've neglected family emails, missed sending birthday wishes, haven't helped my brother move into his new apartment, and more...because I've been busy caring for the new people..."

By the time I'd stumbled through the kanji and engaged in this mental rant, I was a bit more in my right mind. Yeah, it was a bad question for people who'd lived 2/3rds of their lives in the same community. I shouldn't have moved them cold-turkey into the sphere of new relationships. And I should realize that my life will always probably be a bit incomprehensible...and that's not anyone's fault.

But the goal of my question remains a question: How do I encourage the Christians around me and myself to see faces and God's creations in the people around them?

It is a sacrifice to lay down comfortable relationships and pick up the new. A part of me often feels like quoting Bilbo from Lord of the Rings, "I feel thin...stretched...like butter spread over too much bread."

But...there is also deep joy, watching new people experience with wide eyes and amazement the warmth and forgiveness of the Gospel.