Of rings and things...

It was April of 2009, and I had just stepped into my family's kitchen after finishing my first two and a half years in Japan. My arms ached from carrying luggage, back ached from airline travel, and my heart ached from goodbyes. The familiar, warm kitchen could have been the moon for how much I felt like an alien. I had lived and grown and loved in another world for a bit, and I knew it would take awhile before I felt part of this American one that had been my home.

My mother was stepping around the luggage on the floor, chatting about life updates and news. "Hey, Eric called yesterday," she said. "He wanted to know when you were flying in and said he'd call back later."

I went from feeling alone to suddenly realizing that I had friends...and more than that, a history of friendship and shared growth. I think some deep part of my soul smiled big. And I don't think I'll ever quite forget that moment.

The phone call took place...a friendly conversation filled with updates on life changes, processing of faith and difficulties, and obscure references to CS Lewis quotes. :) And I hung up the phone with a heart-felt, "Thank you, God, for the grace you give through friendship with him..."

Fast-forward with me to another conversation almost a year later, while I was in the middle of paperwork and plans for Fukushima--a conversation about friendship and more...and could we talk about what us might mean?...and the seeming finality of the words, "But Eric, I'm going back to Japan. For a couple years."

I don't even remember Eric's response to that statement. I do remember months of asking God why He would open two different doors in front of me that seemed to go in opposite directions. Why would He call me to both travel and stay with someone?

I moved to Fukushima...and Eric and I kept talking. And the year that has passed has taught me a few things:

1. The same God that I trust in Fukushima...I can trust to lead and guide and work anywhere. And in any context. Single? God is trustworthy. Earthquake? God is trustworthy. New job? God is trustworthy. Health concerns? God is trustworthy. Married? I'm guessing that God is trustworthy. :) I am dependent on His grace.

2. The most important travel, discovery, and culture-sharing takes place in the context of relationships. (You should check out Andrew Peterson's "World Traveler"...he says it much better than I. :))

And finally, maybe, I learned over the last year...that the respect, admiration, and care in my friendship with Eric really has grown to love...that I am so blessed to somehow both receive and give.

A short visit to MN for my second brother's wedding this last week involved some time with Eric...and a ring, a question...and an answer of yes. And now I'm back in Fukushima, still not quite able to grasp it all or wipe what I'm sure is a silly smile off my face... :)

Thanks for well-wishes and prayers! It's been a blessing to share the news with people!

This kind of feels like the start of a new journey...and I'm so excited... :)

Love,

Haidee

Adult class

Six of us ladies sat around a box of kleenex and smiled at each other--real smiles, the smiles that come after tears and yells and frustrated words and whispered memories and murmured compassion.

We'd been working through bits of Montgomery Gentry's "Something to Be Proud of"--a random song pulled off my ipod that I thought would be a good springboard for discussions on pride and success and encouragement. In Japan, the comment "I'm really proud of my ____" is just not considered polite, and pride generally (it seems) has negative associations. In the midst of earthquake cleanup and the place trying to pull itself together, I thought pride discussions might be good.

For those of you unfamiliar with the song (as I was, three weeks ago!), it starts out with a father telling his son about past life experiences that he is proud of--hard work, sacrifice, risk, service, family, etc. Then the song goes on to share some of the son's processing and questions involving his own life goals and achievements, ending with the haunting question: Is my life something to be proud of?

The kleenex came out when we started sharing about what that question meant to us...what kinds of things we were proud of. Forget the test scores and skills perfected and high-ranking jobs received--we talked about times of care for others that took every particle of mustered-up energy, dark thoughts and desperation, and times when identity was crushed beyond what we thought fixable.

What were they proud of? They were proud of the breaking and dying that ended up bringing growth and refining love.

I'm thankful for God creating safe places and openness for such discussions. I'm thankful for the bravery shown in sharing. And I'm thankful for the growth and life God brings out of pain and darkness and questions.