The honest questions...

A rather explosive Bible study this afternoon has left me pondering faith for the last few hours. Surrounded by people with different faiths, different cultural systems, and different values, I'm always tempted to "agree to disagree" rather than speak truth clearly. But today in Bible study students were asking me about Christ's second coming, faith, prayer, etc., and it was one of those moments when it is impossible to say anything without offending anyone or being untruthful. Those moments always make me fall into pensive thinking for awhile, because these are the honest questions that run through my head, the questions I need to have answered:

- Why do I believe in the God of the Bible? Is it because of my upbringing, my culture, warm and fuzzy feelings in my past experience, a miracle I saw, or my own interpretation of truth?

- Why do I believe that there is only one way to God? And can I say with truth that the one way is Jesus? If that is the truth, can I say that it is more important than harmony, family, success, friendships, or even my own life?

In today's discussion on prayer, we ended up talking about the Japanese customs of going to temples and shrines to pray...I don't know if you guys have ever experienced moments when you must stammer out, "But you guys are wrong..." and can only back it up with a weak, "The Bible tells me so," but I experience those moments regularly. I hate telling people that they are believing a lie--a dangerous lie, because they are giving themselves to powers of darkness. I hate to make it seem like somehow I have the "right way," while their way is wrong. But I also can't just say that everything is ok--can't say that worshiping stone and tree and wishing for good luck somehow can be reconciled with the truth of the Scriptures.

Hear me out on this--I'm not questioning my faith for myself. But when the proclamation of my faith produces pain for others, I have to revisit the question of its truthfulness. (Somehow, because of my American upbringing, I am allowed to separate faith "for myself" and for others. Why/how can I do this? But that's another blog maybe...)

So why do I have faith again? I have to remind myself, to remind myself that it's worth the painful moments of confrontation, worth the broken false harmony, worth the awkward questions and misunderstandings. I have faith because...I'm still breathing. Because every day I run into things bigger than I can understand or fathom, yet they still exist to give me life. Because I know I need a Savior. Because when I pray, God answers. Because history can testify to the Bible and Jesus. Because...it's faith.

Sigh. I wish I always knew the right balance of honest speaking and quiet listening. I wish I always knew words that would both convict and bring life. But these are the moments that remind me I depend on God's truth, and on His forgiveness--moments when John the Baptist's words echo clearly through my head, "He must increase, and I must decrease."

Help, God! I need You to show Yourself in truth and love. Forgive us for our unbelief, and help us to believe.