Friday, May 13, 2011

Rainy day

Rain falls, and we pace inside looking longingly out the windows, wanting to escape the truth that togetherness makes us face: we are not nice people.

There have been stormy quarrels over colored crayons. Tears have fallen, and even mothers' lips have trembled. Fears voiced by the young have been left hanging in the air, as the old could not find words to comfort.
"I'm sorry." We have all said those words so many times today--when roads have been confused, schedules challenged, hurtful words or glances slung across the distance between us. When children pound angry fists and raise wails of frustration.

There is only tiredness. Even birthday congratulations, meant to speak hope and joy, are shadowed by future fears and unknowns.

"Why can't this get better? Why can't we be better?" On rainy days, the gnawing questions and disappointment remind us that sometimes our best efforts come out so hopelessly short of love. Come to think of it, they come out that way on sunny days too.

We have studied Easter, Jesus' death and resurrection, and we have studied the Christmas story, and students ask if we can please go back to Christmas and study more about Jesus' life. After clarifying together what is known and unknown, we are all slightly surprised to start back in Matthew 2--back with the Magi and Herod, and Joseph and Mary fleeing to Egypt, and the settling down in the ill-reputed Nazareth.

And maybe it is the Living One knocking on our hearts, along with the rain pounding on the roof, that leads us to see Herod with understanding eyes. Killing children in a futile effort to protect himself and his throne. Just like he killed relatives, others... On this day, how well we understand how far we all go in an effort to achieve success and protect ourselves! The Light is born into the world, and the darkness is threatened and fearful and very, very black.

And this living together also brings out the undeniable fact that we are naturally part of that darkness, regardless of the goals we have or resolutions we make. We hurt and yell and tear and lack and, together, we groan because of it all...

"What must I do to be saved?" the Philippian jailer's plea is ours.

And that is grace, because we are not left unanswered.

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