Highs and Lows and Yells and Laughter

The last week has held so many emotions! Throughout the week, I've sat through 4 different Japanese lectures, multiple prayer meetings, a couple of business meetings, etc., and each one has reminded me that over my year back in the States I lost a lot of the Japanese language. It's been tough to feel behind, or as if I'm not living up to the expectations of the church members or students here. Most Japanese people that I've gotten to know have a pretty set idea of what an American should look like, and their image is generally of a loud, confident, boisterous American. When I move into a new situation, I am anything but loud and confident, and usually after a couple of days people start whispering, "Is she ok?" "Do you think she's just shy?" etc. etc. So most of the yelling or struggles of the last week revolved around real or imagined expectations and images of who I should be as an American and as a church worker.

Last time I was in Japan, this period of frustration over what felt like unrealistic expectations involving my personality lasted a long time. Thankfully, throughout the week God gave great conversations with Cindy, Victor, the Nomura's, a church member, and other new friends. Slowly but surely, the Japanese is coming back. There have been times of music, times of prayer, poetry readings to annoy Cindy in the evenings :), and even pillow fights full of laughter, which probably entertain our neighbors. The elementary school and junior high kids in our area all know Cindy by her cheerful, loud conversations with them, and they giggle and talk to us when they meet us. A couple of high-school girls came to the Music Cafe event on Saturday, and by the end they seemed very comfortable with the church members and Cindy, Victor, and I.

The reality is that every time I change cultures or move from place to place, there is a time of struggle and silence...but old friends and new friends along the way bring light for the travels. Even the heaviness of being new and confused and incompetent can be chased away and lifted by prayer and laughter...such a blessing!